I can't believe it has been four years already. Four years, I mean when you are six that is a lifetime in itself, and now it seems like there never was anything different than this. My life, with my wonderful husband. And these two little girls we have skittering around us making everyday so much more meaningful than the one before, amplifying the love between Seth and I a million fold. I never knew that it could be so satisfying, to have one person, the right person with me all the time. All those boyfriends I cried so bitterly over at the time can't hold a candle to my Seth, my Pookie Bear, my Love.
What is it about marriage that brings out my conviction? I can feel it, the absolute immovable determination to make it work and work it out no matter what. I mean granted we have had our share of trauma, PTSD, Traumatic Brain injury, bulging discs, and at no point do I ever think " if it gets too much I'll just leave" , impossible, implausible, not me, not ever. He is mine and I am his and we work , who else can you sit up watching youtube videos of old cartoons until 4 am with your 5 month old asleep in your arms? Who else will let you sleep in, make you coffee, and breakfast, give you child free computer time while you eat said coffee and breakfast and then listen to you complain about being tired with sympathy? Who else will play any board game ever, anytime any place? or make meaningful observations about designs you are working on? or say you look good in anything ( and actually mean it!)?
Who else could fit so perfectly? no one. SO here's to marriage and four years of it and many more to come. Here's to making a statement in this fickle throw away culture that something will remain and outlast all others. Here's to being completely satisfied with an aspect of life, and to being in Love, mindblowing, earthshattering, breathcatching love. Here's to having a best friend who wants to be there forever, and make children and let the love compound over and over and over again.
SO much has been going on this week, we had a lovely trip to Canmore, an 8 hour drive during which Abby went on the little potty three times by the side of the road, one at a gas station and then arrived in Canmore totally dry. This kid I am telling you, once she makes up her mind about something lol, so we went to the zoo in Calgary to celebrate.
I think that the prehistoric park was a pretty big hit, she could barely keep still and just loved running along the paths beside the hoodoos and giant fake turribul leezards, lol.
And only my kid would be patting this super ugly creepy paper mache thing saying "hello friend! so nice to see you, aren't you just a cute little guy" lol
Did I mention it was barely above freezing and rain/snowed all day long? well there weren't many people there that was for sure, but I won't say no to a private zoo visit!
Thought these guys were so cute, they looked warm and definately smelled warm So all in all it was a great weekend, Abby got her ultimate reward for potty training and hasn't looked back since, we had a great time swimming with the kids and taking it easy. And now I am off to start cooking the anniversary weekend extravaganza meal, mmmmm steak..... lol
Who knew, who had any idea that this thing called being a mom would be so amazing, and fun and silly, and teary and great.
Abby and I spent the afternoon out in the yard planting flowers and watering and pulling weeds and such. SO much fun to be had just being together and having a blast with dirt and water. This goofy toddler of mine who woke up yesterday potty trained, at least during the daylight hours she has been 100% in panties, no accidents. Ah ha! and I am knocking on wood as we speak. And my little Norah, who not only is cutting teeth but is sitting up by herself and is strong enough to stand with a little propping up.
And the way that they are simply enjoying one another these days is enough to break the heart with joy. Abby loves it when we make Norah 'talk' in a high squeaky voice to her, and seems to be loving her more and more. Norah thinks that Abby is the MOST Interesting thing ever in the entire universe and next to a snacking cuddle with mom there is no place she'd rather be than watching Abby get up to something. Norah has also developed this ridiculous sense of humour, smiling and laughing, smacking her hanging toys and then squealing in surprise, holding her hands out to my face while orating grand speeches in gibbery grunty, nonsense.
And Abby is getting so big, the change even since we moved here is amazing, things she asks about.. why are there bugs? how come things die? can I ride a giraffe when I grow up? why did we not have a baby before Norah? Why, how, what, where.... so many things. She is so grown up. It struck me yesterday when a friend was comforting her child that we are each uniquely paired to our children, that we need them as much as they need us, that they are mirrors of our strengths and foils to our weaknesses. That if we raise them with a pure heart and intention that they will grow and flourish in love and health. That we can't be perfect 100% of the time but if we are there when it counts, to answer the endless questions, to take the time for one last hug, to explain instead of override, to create and encourage, to eat icing on the floor and to simply be whole people, we can teach our children to recognize their weaknesses and make them strengths. To love and cherish all people and things, and most importantly just to love themselves.
To all of you out there Happy Mother's Day, you either are one or have one or both and aren't we all blessed any way you slice it?
So was my Grandpa, I remember seeing pictures of giant tomatos as large as Grapefruits that he grew while living at the coast. He always had an excellent array of plants and vegetables and knew how to grow them all well. The only two things I can actually remember about my grandparents during my younger years when they lived in Victoria and we lived in Edmonton was a visit to the duck pond outside their home and my grandpa's large garden. My dad also has a green thumb and spends endless hours of enjoyment just puttering around the yard in the spring and summer. We always had a veggie garden filled with carrots , lettuce, swiss chard, beets, onions, tomatoes and other yummy delights. And I can remember countless times when Allison and I would wander out behind the garage and spoil our supper by eating large quantities of snap peas and green beans. And now I am starting my own gardening career, I am not couting the pathetic attempts at keeping anything from drying up in the hot Texas sun, or the one oregano plant I managed to grow in Calgary. But now I'm really and truly checking labels for the right climate zones, buying only perennials, planning plants which nourish with food like strawberries and tomatos. And who knew that it would be so fun, and addictive, that crazy me who has a hard time turning off my brain and sitting still would love just hanging out with the dirt and relaxing. I mean we definately have the yard for it, and all the space I could ever need. I guess what amazes me is that I used to hate it, being corraled to help weed the garden when I was younger, told to water everyday after supper. I guess this is another post about growing up, moving on, discovering who I really am and what is important to me.
And speaking of: Norah is awake so off I go, putting someone else before myself? never would have happened five years ago :)