Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Norah Norah Norah we Adore Ya

Albeit a bit belated here is a birthday post for my baby no longer, my big girl soon to be very big girl, little Norah Pearl.  What I love about you Norah:

You always have a smile and are such an incredibly  happy baby
how much you love to cuddle
that you love to growl along with your sister
watching you toddle around after Abigail, trying to be just like her and keep up with her antics
your favorite food is pepperoni pizza and you can inhale at least one whole piece
you always know if someone has food that you haven't been served and you know just how to scream for it
that you love love love baby dolls, love to cuddle and feed them
that you still love to nurse with mommy
how you would rather sit in bed and read books than anything else most days
that you pick up a baby sign after two or three shows
That really if you could you would live in warm water and be a fishy
you are always kind to others and love to play other kids
your impish sense of humour, that twinkle when you grab ears and scream into a face
that you love to be tickled when we are shopping
you can pretend to see a duck anywhere, and usually make the sign until you find one to sign about
that you'll hit Nemo on the nose and take his own toys away from him
that you will always wear a hat and never take it off just to be a pest
the intensity of your babbling, you have something to say dangit!
that you can play for hours by yourself with minimal supervision, totally content to just play
that you are discenring about what you put in your mouth
your perfect perfect head, so beautiful, and those chocolate brown eyes
that you have your daddy's chin, that handsome guy
that you are so different, totally you in every way, completely unique, completely Norah

Thank you for choosing us

Love Mommy

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Puppy for Sale!!

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!
One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

He loves to give kisses and smiles when he **sses
He runs like a gerbil on speed
His black fuzzy hair makes him look like a bear
but he's really to small to be mean

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

He eats lots of good things and and then a few bad
he chews on the sofa and darn!
when no one was looking he snuck up behind
and grabbed up some needles and yarn!

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

That stinking cute pup, well I'll tell you what's up
he looked like a walrus agorge
with needles all sticking from out of his mouth
and a swatch in his throat not too large

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

The cable was strewn all over the floor
in small pieces, purple and forlorn
And boy that cute puppy, that waggely puppy,
well he wished he had never been born

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!

One cute tail waggely puppy for sale!

The only small thing that I give thanks for this day
is that while choking and gagging he whined
so the daddy arrived and saved my swatch from inside
that cute waggely puppy's behind!

Puppy for sale! Puppy for sale!
As a matter of fact he's quite cheap
tell you what if you take him I'm sure that I can
pay you with kisses on cheeks!


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What the Hell were they thinking?

Okay, so, whoever thought that it would be a good idea to have Hallowe'en, a full moon and a time change in the same weekend was NUTS. Granted having them all at the same time probably saves us all weeks of lunacy, children and animals only need to have four days of insanity instead of four weeks.

However the compounded effects of all three within four days is INSANITY, not only are the kids ( and I mean all five of them) hyper and wild but they aren't sleeping either. Hallowe'en was the beginning with lack of sleep due to excitement and afterwards lack of sleep due to sugar crazies, then add a full moon with that incalculable effect on the human body , I mean where do you think the word Lunatic comes from anyway? And then throw in a time change for good measure, not to mention that we had family visiting which just adds to the excitement for the kids and Norah has been sick and teething. OMG, I don't think I've slept in four days.

 We had a midnight bed party last night when Abby had a bladder accident in bed and then a bath and then reading books with both kids while we waited for Bert her toy snake to dry in the dryer. All I could do was laugh as I had a hard time concentrating on the kids with my eyelids closing, something about waking up at 5:30 am with a preschooler demanding food ( which by the way is probably the only way to get me out of bed that early, I wake up for base functions only: food and pee emergencies. Poo emergencies are strictly for the daddy, bless his poo cleaning abilities.)

So we are over the hump, thanks to Mum who bought us loads of pizza last night so I didn't have to cook and thanks to the DVR who let us zone out with hours and hours of taped episodes of Ultimate CakeOff. Pretty well I think that the news shoudl cover this kind of thing previous to it happening:

 " And in other news we have Hallowe'en, a full moon and a time change all in one weekend folks, make sure to stock up on tranquilizers, duct tape, and old episodes of Dora. Call our 24 hour 'I want to strangle my kids and animals hotline- IWTSMKAAH' and don't forget that it is recommended to surreptitously book a babysitter or three to help with the entire weekend. Good luck folks, and remember the national guard will be making residential rounds; giving away free cages and sedatives and the drunk tank at your local PD will be open and accepting the worst of the little buggers. Good luck to you all, and Goodnight"

Just so glad it's over :)

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Lulling tonic of Bob

Act 1; circa January 2007

The Daddy wears an ever widening track in the hallway floor as he rocks the baby up and down the hallway, back and forth, back and forth. Abigail Mae is the first child for the mommy and daddy and getting her to sleep without hours and hours of walking back and forth back and forth has been an ever increasing challenge. Pretty soon the daddy is getting frustrated and resigns himself to a long hard night of rocking and lulling. He reaches over and clicks on the television convinced that he may as well watch something other than the tops of his feet avoiding toys. Suddenly the vocal deluge ceases, quiet snoring envelopes the now practically silent house accompanied by the calming rhythm of 'One Love', and the Daddy thinks that perhaps they should all go to Jamaica.

 The mythic power of the Bob has begun.

Act 2: circa April 2007

The car jostles gently as the family rumbles down the 1-95 heading from Harker heights to Killeen, all would be peaceful except for the bloodcurdling screaming from the backseat. Abigail hates to be facing backwards in the car and feels alone and trapped where she cannot see her mommy and daddy. And then, suddenly, a percussive beat a chord of guitar and cue the drums soon it is Bob to the rescue as Marley and the Wailers put our little wailer into a catatonic trance. The mommy smiles as she settles into her seat knowing that her quick punch of the stereo button is all that is required of her for the rest of the carride. Ahhh Bob, wish you were still here to thank.

Act 3: circa March 2009

The little family has now grown and added another member a new baby girl named Norah who is just becoming aware of herself and that she really doesn't care for riding in that ridiculously uncomfortable carseat facing away from her big sister. Once again tragic crys interrupt the daily carrides, the daddy has trouble concentrating on the road, the mommy can't twist around far enough to comfort Norah and the big sister Abby just wants that new baby-thing to stop. Then a sudden idea, the mommy digs deep into the center console and pulls out a battered cd case, pops it in and... voila! Once again the Bob conquers all, silence and instant napping, nothing quite like it... but does it work on all babies?

Act 4: circa October 2009

The mommy and the daddy in a moment of insanity have added yet another baby into the fray, but this one is four legged and furry and somehow much more work. The mommy and Abby with doggy in tow are headed back from a playdate at a friends house, the new doggy is in his travel taxi for the first time in the car. Much howling crying and yipping is making driving rather hard to concentrate on for the mommy, she would really rather have that darn pup shut up but how can you reason with a furbaby? Well.... one quick jab to the stereo button with Bob cocked and loaded for when Norah is riding along and there is.. you guessed it.. instantaneous silence. The Bob is omnipotent.

Oh Bob, did you ever know that your music was such a snooze? lol

( I know Nemo isn't sleeping here but when he does sleep I never chance taking a photo because then he wakes up again)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Well... in addition to suddenly and surprisingly experiencing my cycle again ( which is very interesting post baby #2) , the kids ( all five of them, including the furbabies) are being extra special crazy. Abby is not only suffering from sibling rivalry with the new puppy Nemo but now has a bladder infection of some sort. Poor kid, I mean we only just started sleeping without a pullup last week, and now she can't even hold her pee and is back in diapers. I think ultimately the bladder infection is directly related to the sleeping without a pull-up, she was really concerned about drinking too much water and peeing in her bed. Directly taken from mommy saying " now you can't have a full glass of water before bed or you might have and accident," which translated into " drink less water all the time" because a preschooler thinks in black and white. Kind of like a PTSD soldier.. sigh... I do love the grey area. :)

Norah is teething again and has a top tooth poking through, is working on another one and is walking up a storm. She is saying Momma, Dadda, AbAb and Hi, she wants to eat everything and anything that we are eating and will forgo cheerios for meatballs. That's my girl!

Asia is so unbelieveably jealous and mean to Nemo it is ridiculous, she won't let him anywhere near her even when he just wants to cuddle, makes him wait for the water dish, steals all his toys, and pointedly ignores even his most adorable advances. Geez! and the cat isn't much better,although she is finally coming downstairs, cuddling during t.v. time on the couch and sleeping on ourbed. But yesterday she attacked Abby and swiped her EYE, two claw marks above and one below, missed the eye thankfully. Holy Geez Lousie, I mean WHAT DID WE DO BEFORE KIDS! I think I was really bored and never even knew it!

Oh and did I mention the new little story telling we've been up to?

Me: "Abby what happened to Norah?"
Abby: "She hit her head"
Me:" Did you hit her in the head"
Abby: nods
Me: "Why?"
Abby: "She just hit her head"

Hmmm.... repeat substituting any given name, body part and action for red text.

So, as the truth is a slippery thing to begin with and really depends on the eye of hte beholder ( which would make Seth cringe, and he is cringing as he reads this.. once again PTSD=B&W), I'm not sure what to make of the untruths. Still working on a game plan for that.

I guess the good thing is that I designed my first lace pattern the other day and it actually works, so more on that in the future. Now off to the doctors office to convince my three year old that she really does want to pee in a cup.. I'm voting 50% chance of finding it to be totally unbelieveably cool and 50% chance of complete mutiny... sigh.

 "well you see dad, it's not pee, a monster snuck into my room and spilled gravy on my bed"
"No! if I drink any more juice my volvo will leak"

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

*&%$ you Mayan Calender of Doom!

We watched part of a movie last night that struck such a chord within me I couldn't watch past 10 minutes. The movie was Doomsday: big scary disease, lots of people die, walled off area, find out about what people really are like under pressure. I made it through the gory hospital shots of people contracting this hideous disease , coughing blood, all manner of revolting looking physical ailments and such. Then to the part where the people who are still healthy try to get out so they can get away from the pathogen, but they are stopped by riot police, who shoot blindly into the crowd and right into a little girl's eye.

SO, that's where I couldn't handle it any more. I know Seth has been to war and seen all kinds of terribleness and atrocities and that little fazes him especially hyped up movie violence that is ridiculously overacted and choreographed to be dramatic. However I cannot deal with it, I used to be able to, used to watch that kind of think and think "suckers! , too bad for you!" and now all I can think about is ; what about my kids. What would I do to protect them? how could I beat that terrible thing? could I smuggle them out somewhere? could we hide in the basement for weeks until it was all okay? How much food would I need to do said hiding? Should i get some more? I think there is a sale on at Rosauers this week.. canned goods... What about looters? maybe we should get a gun, because when the apocalypse happens everyone else will have a gun... WHat if there are zombies too....

And on and on it goes, the trailer for the movie 2012 makes my skin crawl and triggers 18 lists of things I am planning to purchase, including a motorhome, land in Nunavut, and a lifetime supply of Ichiban Ramen noodles. Life is scary enough without watching movies about cataclysmic disaster, I mean it just isn't my bag.

What about the little things we do everyday that might destroy us? just getting in a vehicle that might crash and kill , leaving disaster for your family. I know that on some level the larger hypothetical disasters are far less scary than the everyday ones. I mean it was only last year that my cousin got pneumonia and died, really, died from pneumonia; in 2008. That alone made me want to swear off bathing my kids in the winter, and put antibiotics in their cereal.

SO as mommies what do we do with the psychotic need to protect our children? do we become anxiety riddled and neurotic? Do we sit back patiently and get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking that nothing bad will ever happen? Or do we practice vigilance? and try our best to perceive the dangers? but where does that end?

All I know for sure is that when the continental shelf collapses and water is pouring East I will be driving, north, to my Mommy's house.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Sicky Sicky Doldrums

Riddle me this; what has 4 arms, 8 legs, three noses, boundless energy, and is a recipe for disaster? well how about a 3 year old, a 10 month old and a new puppy.

Now add to that everyone being sick.


So, it is pretty interesting around here. Let's start from the beginning shall we? So we all know about Mackie , and then Mackie Leaving, which was devastatingly sad and had us all pretty depressed for a week. Until crazy Meghan got on the web and emailed Auntie Ali and asks her where a good dog could be found. Auntie Ali who is a finder extraordinaire point us to WHere we find a posting about a little Pomeranian Cocker Spaniel puppy who was reasonably priced and so very very cute. Now I have a bit of an issue with paying for a dog when there are so many dogs out there who need a home. But this little guy was the perfect breed , and a puppy so we could train him any which way we wanted and he would start from scratch instead of some hopelessly cute and yet strangely trained shelter dog with hangups. I mean we already have a shelter dog with hangups and we love her but one is enough. SO long story short on Friday we picked up Nemo

WHo is really an Uber cutie. But talk about WORK, I mean between the two kids and then the new dog, and now we are all SICK! Snotty and coughy, and feverish and terrible. And we are missing a birthday party tomorrow complete with supposed surprise Pie, and I have to finish my bag pattern for Interweave Knits by Monday/Tuesday and the yarn was late so now I have a flexible deadline which I hate because I like to have a firm deadline and really this post has degraded into sniffly whining drivel because for the first time in a long time I went through box of kleenex in one day and I can't take any decongestant because Norah is still nursing and I want pizza.


Got that off my chest

But I wish it was outta my nose


SO off to do some serious knitting and child ignoring, thank goodness for understanding husbands

Sunday, September 20, 2009

So much for that

Well sadly Mackie is no longer with our family. I got a call from Spokanimal on Saturday morning to say that one of his litter mates had shown signs of ringworm and did we have small children because it is very contagious. Well yes indeed we do have small children, so I was asking about treatment and such and then on a whim , just because this person on the phone actually seemed nice and knowledgeable unlike everyone I had talked to at the shelter the day before I asked about him being called a Dachshund.

"Well..." she says...

and I say " you know we were looking at photos and he really seems to look like a pitbull puppy
" Ahem.. " she says " well actually his mother is a pitbull."

" oh really?, well why did his papers say that he was a Dachshund?"

"well we think that his father might have been a Dachshund"

"Oh you think so, is that enough reason to put it on his papers as his only breed?"


So long story short we took Mackie back in on Saturday and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Listening to Abigail sobbing and watching her completely melt onto the floor was heartwrenching and I don't understand why it even had to happen. I asked three people at Spokanimal on Friday about the origins of that dog and they all said they only knew he was a Dachshund... have you seen the photos?

NOT a Dachshund. I mean really. So they did take him back and give us a full refund which was nice I suppose but not really a cure for the heartache of welcoming a new member and then losing him so quickly. Why could we not have a pitbull? well it would never sit easy with me or Seth, I know that many people have them as pets and they are perfectly great and wonderful. I know that if a child is raised with the dog the chances of them ever attacking are slim... but it can still happen. And what about our friend's children who come to play at our house frequently, what do you say to a longtime friend when their child is mauled at your house.. "oops, my bad."

Basically we were not prepared to deal with this breed of dog and we knew that when we went into the shelter, however we couldn't help being lied to. Are we that naive to believe a person who works with dogs everyday when they tell us the kind of breed? I am inclined to believe in the honesty and goodness in all people first and foremost and so this whole thing really chafes, I mean we were lied to. They knew that the breed was pitbull, the dogs had been brought into the shelter before they were weaned and had to be fostered with the mother until they were ready. Any person at any time during our visit could have looked at the computer and told us this information. But instead they all just pointed to the kennel sheet and said Dachshund, no other information known.

And why is this a policy at a city shelter? To dupe unsuspecting families into adopting potentially dangerous animals just to alleviate population issues at the society? When I asked why the papers said Dachshund and not Pitbull the lady told me that it wasn't her idea, and that's all she could say.

So buyer beware, go in with a dog breed diagram if you have to and if you really really don't want a certain breed of dog: look elsewhere.

I guess the good news is that there is a cute little pomeranian Cocker spaniel cross up on Colville we are looking at getting. So we'll see.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Cuteness factor one million

Soo.... went to the Spokanimal shelter today .... licensed Asia and Siva..... decided that " yeah sure Abby we can go ahead and look in the kennels at the doggies .. but no touching"..... "oh sure Abby well it looks like we can take this little puppy for a walk".... " well no Abby this puppy doesn't have a name, no not a mommy or daddy either he lives here at the shelter"....

And so...

Meet Mackie Fluff, some manner of terrier mix more Jack russell and Rat I think than anything even though his papers say Dachshund ( HA!) not even like Dachshund is a generic term, you know like dog, or cat. So we are now the proud parents of one happy bouncy terrier puppy, one completely over the moon three year old, one slightly miffed older corgi X, a fairly neutral nine month old, and a very angry freaked out short hair domestic cat.

at least there wasn't any labour with this baby.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I would post but I'm too busy knitting

Ever bite off more then you can chew? maybe once or twice in a lifetime? well this happens to be my MO, the way I function, the only way I can stay motivated and challenge myself. It needs to be complicated, like a lace pattern with increases and decreases, add some short rows just for spice, now mirror the whole pattern and learn to knit backward at the same time.

So now, 150 stockinettte rows into a 120st count project on 4.5mm needles I am ... well... challenged? Not to complain but I am the kind of gal who designs the whole thing in her head, minus a few details which need to be worked out as I knit but the actual knitting is a perfunctory part of the process. No, not (bored) but I can now knit english style and continental with even tension.... I'm just slogging through....the most incredible experience of my life :) lol and yet I can't keep my excitement from going haywire at the thought that in about 6 months this pattern will hit the shelves.

SO I shall carry on, but don't expect to hear from me anytime soon, I am far too busy knitting to post lol.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


So life in the fast lane is for losers. lol I guess I just mean , boy am I tired! Norah got two teeth this past week, is working on more, learned to crawl and is trying to walk. So between excruciating mouth pain extending into her ears and crawling herself into waking every couple hours dear old mom has been losing sleep. Couple that with Abby having swim class at 9 am each morning and I am a goner. I just woke up from napping ( unintentionally) from 7pm to 9pm and I feel like... well not so great.

And waiting sucks... pretty much all waiting sucks, I mean except things like waiting for ... um... there has to be something... well back to my problem waiting for things in the mail. The mail is a much coveted happening in our daily life, we love it, can't wait for it, fight each other for the privilege of being able to walk down our oh so long drive and check the box. Even when we lived in Texas it was my favorite part of the day, I used to surreptitiously sit on the couch half turned toward the T.V. with lunch in my lap and the other eye turned on the road... waiting.

Yup that is the view, waiting for Old Sourpuss the mailman to come speeding down the road with cigarette in hand, sweatband on his arm, chain dangling from his wallet, with mail, FOR ME. Oh god help me I love the mail, and good mail days that contain an actual letter, maybe a magazine or really good store advertisement can just really make the day that much more exciting. The only thing better is getting a package; oh packages packages how I love thee, I compare thee to a summer's day but thou art more lovely and more temperate. That lovely brown corrugated cardboard usually scuffed a bit and covered with all that post office jargon is positively charming. And there is always ALWAYS way more tape involved than you can sufficiently rip off with your bare hands so inevitably after beginning with ineffective fingernails ( that you always cut the night before) you have to rummage in the kitchen for a pair of scissors. Which can never be found and so you settle for a steak knife and a prayer that your impromptu surgery will of course completely maim the vessel but hopefully leave the contents intact.

Now, add the purely intoxicating rush of purchasing items off the internet with or without an estimated delivery date and mail time is even more fun! who knows what goodies await within the morning post!

However if you are waiting, for something very important, like perhaps a big old box of yarn from Interweave knits so you can knit a pattern for their Spring 2010 issue then.... well... waiting sucks. And the mail is disappointing... so far anyways.... because I am too damn excited.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm here I'm here!

Ha! bet you wondered where we had gotten to? well it has been a busy couple of weeks around here: first we horsed around on the couch

Then Papa and Grandma came to visit

And Grandma made Norah this cute cute sweater
Then we all drove to Scotch Creek B.C.

Some of us drew in the back seat

And of course there were potty breaks

Scenic potty breaks

And then the Beach, and eating sand, rocks, sticks, and leaves

Swimming with Papa

Cuddling with mom
Being scared of Dad's silly face

Horsing around with Papa

Bad 80's throwback headgear

And then back home to bake a very special birthday cake
check the deck for birthday cake eating monsters

Mmmmm cake... worms... dirt... rocks... cake
And of course all our friends for a very special party
And even a few new friends!

And after homeade macaroni and cheese, veggies and cake there were... presents!
All that fun tired us out some and so we had a cuddle in bed
And to cap off the weeks Granny came to visit too!

And so there you have it folks our life in a nutshell.. busy busy busy :)
Oh and I guess I'll end with this

Yes we really are in SO MUCH TROUBLE

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

And soon to be all grown up

It is Abby's birthday this week, she is turning three and I can hardly believe it. It seems so cliche to say that it was only yesterday that I held her in my arms for the first time, but really it feels like it was. Ultimately Seth got to hold her first as I was being stitched up but after what seemed like 10 mintutes I was avidly saying over and over " can I hold my baby now?" and then there she was. All wrinkled and cone headed and angry, oh boy was she every angry, she cried for almost an hour.
Abby ; I had no idea what to do with you, it all seemed so surreal, one day I was alone, then you were here. I can still remember how hot it was that summer when you were born, we spent a lot of time out on the patio at mom and dad's house. And then after four months with mom and dad we were finally cleared to immigrate to the US and see dad again. Finally our family could begin again and mend itself after being separated for so long. You wore your blue sleepers with your pink sweater and pink shoes to see Daddy at the airport, and we cried and cried and cried.

I had no idea that one little munchkin could completely change my life so much, and that I was missing so much in my life before I had you! Everyday whe I look at your face I remember all the good things I've ever done in my life, all the joys and satisfaction of being your mom. Granted we've had our differences and even though it makes me mad I still laugh on the inside when you use mad mommy voice on me lol. And you are getting so big now, you can get your own water, 'read' your own books, use scissors and glue, use hte bathroom all by yourself. And now we have little Norah, and having her made me realize how big and grown up you are.

Watching you grow up has been the sinlge most amazing thing I've ever witnessed, and here are a few things that i absolutely totally adore about you:

  • your undying love of all bugs, snakes, sharks, reptiles, and amphibians
  • watching you treat your sister with love and respect
  • your love of doing makeup with mommy
  • your love of cooking and helping to cook and bake anything
  • watching you eat, and eat and eat, and that you are willing to try a bite of anything at least once
  • that you can constantly surprise me by making completely astounding connections between spiders and dogs, or water and bugs or anything really
  • your love of animals in general, that petting zoos put you into a spasmodic stupor and visiting a zoo will cause loss of sleep for weeks before hand
  • that you could eat an entire watermelon if allowed
  • you are independant and brave, oh so very brave and fearless my darling
  • you love swimming and baths and any kind of anything with water
  • you'll try more then once or twice or three times to get it the way you want it
  • your love of small and or shiny, beads, coins, bits of shiny paper, nut shells, rocks, leaves
  • the toy du jour, always small and most times shiny
  • That you can hold your own with boys and girls, that you love tanks and knitting, robots and makeup, dragons and dressup, star wars and shoes
  • That I can see myself and your father and then something even more special inside of you, you are yourself, confident and beautiful and amazing

Thank you for being my hunny bunny, my love, my darling, my baby pookie and most importantly my abby dabby, my baby forever.

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be

-Robert Munsch

Friday, July 24, 2009

That little green eyed monster

Well Abby has started with the sibling rivalry, I mean really begun to realize that mom and dad have two kids not just one. Her acting up this week has been grueling, frustrating me to the point of distraction. Especially since most of it revolves around how much attention over and above 100% I am able to give her. Funny thing is that she is really great in the morning for her dad, even when Norah is awake and playing with them. But as soon as I wake up and my priorities are in this order: bathroom, coffee, nursing, coffee, breakfast, something with Abby, and her priorities are: mommy craft time, mommy play time, mommy swim time, mommy shopping, oh sure have some coffee it's only 3pm. And she turns into a raving lunatic, whining and crying and lashing out, craving any attention at all, even the very worst kind. And as soon as Norah vacates the breakfast cuddle Abby is IN MY LAP like a dirty shirt, I mean this kid never even cuddled when she was nursing and now it is like Gaaaallllluuuuuueeeee. And the little beady jealousy eyes, I mean I guess I wasn't prepared for it, how anyone could shoot daggers at little Norah baby.. but she does. Yikes! and today when we were over at a friend's house dropping off a few helpout meals we were talking and watching the babies ( friend's have one 9 months and one on the way) Abby got a ball point pen and drew on a painting in the house. AARRGGGHHH!!! I have never been so mortified in my life!

And this too shall pass, and I am trying to rearrange morning priorities, I mean who really needs breakfast anyways? :) lol and having lots of Abby mommy time helps but .. geez .. I can't imagine three kids... or five... *sigh* and in ten years I'll be cranking that she doesn't want to be with me... well here is a shot when it was just Abby mommy time:

huh, the dog in the background is Max, mr. jump-the-fence-and-pee-in-the-yard-in-Texas dog

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Five things I am grateful for

Big shady maple trees that keep my yard cool, are older than my grandma and remind me of Canada

Waging war on the freakin earwigs that are eating my plants and winning! haha! beware of tuna cans filled with oil!

Big pools in my backyard that keep me cool and gave Abby a place to learn how to swim 15 ft underwater by herself
Wicked monkey lamps
The fact that we are well off enough that when I cracked these open we didn't have to eat them, unlike many other people we had other options.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The long sigh...

Finally, after three years Seth was fully retired with permanent disability status.


It is hard to explain the relaxed mood in the house this week, overwhelmingly lethargic, everyone is sleeping better, eating less, smiling more. I had no idea how wound up we all were, at each other over so many things, small thing, insignificant things. And now..... finally closure and recognition, finally a stamp of approval and a promise for the future. For those who are new to our story here is a quick summation:

Dec. 2005: shipped out to Iraq
April 2006: the first of 10 explosions rocks Seth , and he survives
July 2006: medically evacuated from Theatre
September 2006-July 2007: waiting, sometimes going into work, mostly being paranoid, anxious, and sore. I spend my time fighting with his superiors who keep calling him for duty that his official physical profile restricts.
July 2007: He makes the temporary retired list and no longer is on active duty
July 2007-August 2007: we wait with baited breath for rating and payment from the VA, very scary to have a one year old and no income for the family.
September 2007: 100% disability rating from the VA
September 2007-July 2009: waiting to see if they will take everything away from us and put him back on active duty. Waiting and reassuring, trying everyday to make it positive and not let the fear show.
Finally: July 2009 permanently retired.

It's done, we can relax and just live now, work on him getting better instead of being afraid of getting better. INstead of being worried that if he showed imporvement they would take it all way and push him into the workforce that he so blatantly can never enter again. We live with the paranoid fear of someone else mowing our lawn, being a failure because the recycle man didn't take all the recycle, being completely unable to enter a store like Costco or Walmart alone, forgetting where he parked the car ( every single time), any loud noise is a morter round/gunshot/IED, weekly and sometimes daily nightmares of scenes in theatre, an inability to interact with any stranger for any reason, and walking the dog down the dirt road triggers full body visceral flashbacks resulting in loss of cogniscence. Physical limitations of little to no lifting, walking with two crutches, a bulging disc in his back and neck, a raging ear infection that has presumably moved into his brain and is causing swelling and fluid to remain on his left lobe, as well as migraines that can last 2 hours or 5 days. Then there are the cognitive difficulties losing and forgetting words, missing meaning, stark inability to read and retain information, little to no short term memory, loss of logical sequencing and priority problems.

But I love this man,

we are doing fine

and we are a family.

We still go to Costco and Walmart, we go as a family, and stick together and keep him safe. We work through the loud noises and the flashbacks we talk about them constantly so they aren't scary or strange. We work on word loss, we play games like trivial pursuit for knowledge retention and we read to the girls all the time. Somethings will never get better like his back and his knees but we share the loads and move on, always moving on. And someday he is going to only have nightmares every month or two and flashbacks will recede into the background. It will still be there and it will still be hard sometimes but really what marriage isn't?

Don't ever let anyone tell you that something is impossible. call me a romantic idealist but really baby I've lived it, I'm 26 and I've been there and you can get through anything if you love someone.

Monday, July 13, 2009

And just for good measure

There is something about Babies eating food that just tickles me :) lol here are some shots of Abby