Friday, February 20, 2009

Just Abby and Me

SO Abby and I went shopping today, just the two of us, and it was great. She started the day with practically sitting on top of her sister while I was nursing, then stroking-pushing-slapping-pinching-eating-sucking on my arm, which soon turned into a full out crying panicky run away from dad around the house episode. SOme Mommy time was needed badly. I was terrified of going, alone with her, in the new car, because of course she was going to want to walk instead of ride in the cart and of course she was going to grab things off hte shelf and of course she would find only the delicate, breakable, bruiseable things to pick up . But we survived, sometimes it is hard to remember that for a brief period of time she wants to be with me and just me more than I can ever know, that she doesn't need private time, that she can never have enough hugs and praise and love. That there are no strings attached to our relationship, that I can discipline her with counting out loud and explaining why, and how, and who and where. That her knowledge of the world grows every second, that she will think that I am the coolest for at least a little while and that all these things are perhaps the most amazing ever. No one told me that when I had children I would get to be the popular kid in the house, that someone would want to be me more that I do and that one little word or hug or kiss can make a day perfect and wonderful.

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