So, today at the mothers group there was a speaker from the local produce place called Fresh Abundance , which basically is a non profit group out to feed the world healthy veggies. Of course their project is bigger than that but really doesn't it all boil down to saving the world at some point? SO it has me thinking about my issues with food, the fact that I do 99.9% of the cooking for my household, that I love to try new things, new flavours; strong flavours, that I love to go grocery shopping and that in my little microcosm the cooking of supper is perhaps the only means of control I get to exercise.
Seth is alternately extremely scheduled and totally spontaneous, for example; outings, shopping trips, swimming, visiting etc needs to be PLANNED, there has to be a few days notice if not weeks. We usually map out most of a week at the beginning and then live from the Calender. I can ususally spring a trip somewhere tested and true, ( like Safeway, or out to Applebees) but anyplace new is out of the question on short notice. NOW the other part is the spontaneous, he is susceptible to anxiety attacks, flashbacks, migraines, and exreme physical pain which can basically, at a moments notice, kill all best laid plans.
And then there is Abby and Norah, they both need stability, naps, a basic schedule, so once again the most planned and anticipated outing in the world is at the mercy of a two and a half year old and her sidekick the 3 month old. Also let's not forget the need for a toddler to have all things the same all the time, same blankets, same sequences, same outings, same methods, etc, I live in the world of everything being dictated by someone else and really what mother doesn't but my point is that I want to decide something.
And so in other words deciding what to eat, when to eat, and what it will taste like is one of the few things that I can control. It makes me feel stable in my life, which can be so very very unstable. I enjoy it, I love grocery shopping, trying new foods, ethnic foods, (Vietnamese is my soul food,) and so the thought of having someone drop fresh unknown food completely out of my control on my doorstep once a weeks kind of scares me.
And yet... it is such a good idea, such delicious, tasty, fresh, organic, healthy veggies and I can always pick up something I really have to have. I guess it is really time to grow up, to think about what I am eating, to learn about growing it myself and give a little (more) control away, who needs it really,
Leaf in the wind....Leaf in the wind...Leaf in the wind...Leaf in the wind...Leaf in the wind...